life just keeps happening

It is so easy to start living life as if it isn't going to start until a magic date when "X" happens--in my case, when we go on the road fulltime. As much as I try to resist this tendency, its an entropy, I slip slowly and inexorably into the state of living for tomorrow and forget to live NOW. I was brought grumpily into reality this morning by lack of sleep and irritation that my daughter and husband are sick again, the second time in 3 weeks. I was internally raging about how irritating life is, how dreadful that I wasn’t getting sleep and how life was getting in the way of me reaching my magic goal of travel---then I just started laughing. How silly it is to complain that life is getting in the way of life!

I reinforced to myself that one of my goals is to live NOW—how silly to miss out on all the stuff now—its all part of the fun. Being on the road isn’t going to stop them (or me) from getting colds. The planning and packing and cleaning now is part of the fun and part of life. Someday I might look back on this time now as that magic cusp time—the transition between the old life and the new. The time period in which my mental state started the transition to a new me, but I was still working in the old job.

And I have mentally started that transition—so many things just don’t seem as important as they once were. I just can’t get into a tizzy of worry anymore if some client gets frantic and upset…it isn’t that I’m not doing a great job or responsive to their needs—on the contrary, I find myself more organized, working harder and more directed than I have in a long time—but I don’t take the worries out the door anymore. I don’t wake at night, remembering minor details and gnawing at them with worry. I arrive at work, work hard, and leave work at work.
I’ve also noticed that I’ve begun worrying less what people think of me. I find myself just “being me” in situations that I previously would have censored myself more, been more of a chameleon and ‘what people expected’. An example: I went to a neighbors party last night and somehow immediately after I met two women there the conversation got stuck on the fact that I had stopped a market 40 miles away just to buy a special brand of beer. The conversation circled around beer for a few minutes, then was cut off as someone else arrived. Previously, my mental commentary would have worried that they thought me some sort of alcoholic, obsessed by beer. But last night, I simply didn’t care what they thought. I felt no need to explain myself beyond their initial questions and actually I realized that they probably forgot the conversation within 2 minutes and never gave it another thought—lol, unless they really were into beer and wanted the same seasonal ale!

thoughts for the day

This from a recent post of mine on an RV forum:

My husband and I are younger as well (32 and 38) and just getting ready to go on the road.

This is our bottom line--4 years ago we were in debt, living paycheck to paycheck. Today, we are in debt, with a little money in the bank and significant equity in our house. I am gone 9 to 12 hours a day working while my husband stays home. We live comfortably, but aren't all that happy with my commute and working so much. We long to be debt-free and have some time as a family. For us, going full-time makes sense. We can travel for a year to 2 years at least, have some nest-egg money left over at the end--even planning for catastrophes. We are giving ourselves the chance to see if I can make it as a freelance writer or if we can start our own business--we can TRY these things if we go full-time--we can't if I'm working 12 hour days.

If it doesn't work, we'll have seen the country, had a grand time trying and we can start again better off than we are now. A pessimist might say--but you lost 2 years of building equity in a house, or 2 years of putting money in a retirement plan---what does that matter against the chance to make our lives into something we love better? To spend 2 years with one another everyday, seeing our daughter grow and experience the world?

If you want to do this, you'll find a way to make it happen! If it isn't for you, you find something else that is for you--but don't just stay in a place you don't like much just to be safe. Life isn't as fun when its just safe. We have to sometimes take (calculated) risks to make things better.

____

I loved this post from another poster:

http://www.rv.net/forum/index.cfm/fuseaction/thread/tid/14225920/srt/pa/pging/1/page/2.cfm

We are full-time boondocking and drycamping campers and hikers, I am 51, mu husband is 46, full-timing in a van. First of all, it is a mistake anytime in life, in any lifestyle, to be concerned or worried about what others think of you. Live your life for yourselves, not for others. There will always be people, no matter how you live your life, who think you are living your life wrong. All that really matters is what you think. Stick to what you want in life, your dreams and desires, your goals, your aspirations, your values. You will not go wrong. Second, if full-timing is what you and your family wish to do at this point in your life, plan it, and then do it. If you can make a living while travelling, that's great. You can also register with workamping, if you choose to also work in exchange for camp sites, hookups, stipend, meals, etc. National Parks have accommodations, meals, etc., or you can do a lot of volunteering or a little volunteering. Travelling and sightseeing is also very educational...and you might find you want a career in the National Parks or some other cool place. How would you know unless you had the opportunity to get out there and see the world? I'm 51 and have never had a career goal. Just never had a dream or ambition to pursue a certain thing. Until this year...after visiting our beautiful national parks, I have finally decided I want to go back to school and become an Interpretive Ranger, and live in or near one of our national parks. I can combine my love of the outdoors with a career.If you are computer savvy, how about a mobile internet cafe? There are a lot of travellers who do not have computers or laptops aboard, and would gladly pay if you had public computers on your RV. Put a sign on your RV and your in business anywhere, any parking lot, any road, if you have internet access. I think the possibilities are endless. If you love to travel, and you can combine your passions and interests with travelling, you hold the key to full-timing success. I don't mean monetary success. I mean finding happiness out there, fullfilling your dreams and ambitions while travelling. Go for it. Don't wait until your knees hurt walking around while sightseeing. I wish I had tried something like this when I was much younger. I might have had more direction and ambition in life. Maybe not. You have everything to gain, and little to lose. Good luck! Keep us posted! 1994 Ford E-150 (1/2 ton) Camping Conversion vanwith our 18 lb. Maine Coon Cat

costs

The costs involved in going full-time vary from person to person--it completely changes depending on the cost of your rig, your health insurance needs, and your basic way-of-living. This month has been a nail-biter--costs are hitting hard right now as we decided to get our rig early and suddenly instead of waiting until the house is sold. Granted, buying early is a risk--if our house doesn't sell, we'll be in financial difficulty in about 3 months. Well, that's not quite true--we would still have enough to live on, but we'd start to have to be much more frugal, that's for sure.

But, just to show you--the costs out-of-pocket this month:

$3000 - down payment on 5th wheel
$270 - insurance on 5th wheel
$886 - cost of hitch, brake control and installation (DON'T forget installation costs--they are pricy)
$250 - truck cover and cover lock (this isn't a necessity--but nice--we are going to the desert in a windy area)

Other--prep for house sale-
$90 - pest inspection (real estate pest inspection)
ca. $200 - mulch and flowers for yard
$48 - professional fertilizer and weed control application

and totally unexpected--getting cars ready for sale:
$744 - brake job on Rodeo
$286 - new axle/cv boot for Toyota

Grand total:
$5774

Thank goodness we've been saving as there is no way we could afford this otherwise. And also thankfully--the Toyota sold.

a journey begins

I mentioned my intention to travel full-time in an RV to a client yesterday and she said, "wow, I think given the right circumstances I'd enjoy that, but I've never been much of a risk taker. You are so lucky to be able to do that."

I'm not really sure how much luck has to do with it.

Most of our "luck" is just persistance and desire. If we weren't able to sell our house and live on a nest egg for a little bit before returning to work, we could do this working as we go. It has taken a tremendous amount of planning, persistence, time and energy to make this happen--and we aren't even there quite yet, but the end is in sight.

I remember when a friend went on a 3 month long trip to Nepal and Thailand, traveling by herself. People told her she was so "lucky" to have a job that let her do that....ha. What that woman went through to make that happen! Everything from being willing to loose that job to separating from her husband and almost divorcing. Now, she's happily married to the same man with a child and working the same job--but she MADE that trip happen because it was important to her.

The other side of the coin are some posts from fellow RVers. I posted that I was selling my home and asked a question about our new RV and I got three comments that I should hold on to my house 'just in case' the RVing doesn't work out. Now, I suppose that is healthy advice as I know some people don't end up liking RVing, but come on! Living in a house in the suburbs, driving for an hour each way in traffic daily, working 8 hours in an office, paying off debts and living under debt...compared to moving around, living in nature, having the mental challenge of changing jobs and creating a new income, living debt-free...the whole concept of being afraid to try something new whole hog seems cowardly to me.

The Phoenix

The phoenix--a brilliant bird in red gold feathers . A bird that lives its long life, then dives into the flames and rises again from the ashes of its own death.

The phoenix has always been a very symbolic myth for my own life. I feel as if I have lived 100 years in a short span of time and have recreated myself again and again from the ashes of my previous life. Sometimes I feel like I am diving to Sampati's fire--as if those hot flames are drawing me in to flash me to ashes and recreate myself. Other times, I feel as if I am rising triumphant, already metamorphed from the aged and ragged to the new, re-born.

I love the image of an enormous red-gold bird, flying over the world, free. I like the image of rebirth from ashes, renewal. The phoenix is my image for the adventure I'm about to embark upon.