Mother guilt

The middle of the night is mother guilt time. Phoebe caught Greg’s cold and the night was pretty horrid. She struggles against sleep, won’t let Greg touch her (if he does, she throws up crying so hard) and all she wants are na-na’s (breast milk.). To top it all off, it is freezing in here. The RV only came with one battery and it just isn’t enough to run the furnace all night. In fact, after a couple days of trying to run it intermittently, the battery is hardly holding a charge. We tried not to let it go below 50% charge, but the furnace is just is too much for the thing. Mom guilt runs strong with a sick child and cold room. I want to tuck her all up and keep her warm and hydrated, and she will hardly even keep covers on. Another thing that’s been bothering me is how much Phoebe missed bath time. She goes to the door and says bubbles, bubbles. Things like that make me think that this is Greg and my fantasy—not necessarily hers. But then I wonder—isn’t it better to have mom around all the time than have daily bath time?

I started to wonder if it was a mistake—bringing her into this—far from heat, far from medical help. Ok—this is midnight talk—the fact is, it won’t always be cold and the med center is almost as close as home—just that 911 doesn’t work.

We went into town and bought a couple new batteries—no point in plugging in a better quality new one to the old, crappy one. That fix solved part of the problem--we are warmer, but it was just the start of fun battery issues....